Changed.

Ca$hburn   #loudouncountyprobs

Package from "B town"

We have COOL members who bring us Pizza & Drinks.  it's chill.

Thrift Store Service

Serving with a Smile!

Going to the Game :)

So excited...

Sister Rossi, ME, Sister Schramm

I'm So American right now...

There was probably 500 missionaries.  So SICK!

On our way home. At 2:00 am.  WHAT???

O Yeah.  The Metro literally could NOT fit one more body inside.
#BigCityProbs
It's Gross

Still got it.

Family & Friends,

I've created a rough draft not in any particular order of my biggest fears.

1. When your cell phone doesn't hang up and your talking about the person you're on the phone with (whether it be good or bad it doesn't matter still awk)

2. Slipping and falling into one of Manassas Parks massive storm drains

3. Slipping and falling onto the Metro tracks

4. VA lightning storms striking us through the car window

5. Coming home the same person I was when I left.


CAN WE ALL PLZ PONDER THE LAST POINT

Thnx. Just think about that thought for a sec.

I was reading in Jacob 5 the other day.  About the Lords vineyard, and pruning trees, that whole shpeel. I want to just reiterate a few verses that stuck out to me this week specifically. Even more specificly to the work this week and missionary work in general.

Missionary work.. is hard. It's real tough. But I love that you can find comfort in the scriptures, and in comparison.

This week was one of  those  weeks.


Verse 41: "he wept and said what more could I have done for my vineyard?
This sold me. 
This week was rough. 
Some awkward experiences not to be described.
Some bad drops. 
And Sister Rossi and I just thought, 
"What more could we have done?"
"Was there more?"
"What was it we could have done?"

And when you're so involved in the work, it's your life, it's what you devote all your time, energy and talents to, it catches you on the verge of tears. 
OFTEN
When you love these people so much, and things just aren't happening. 
It hurts. 
What more can you do?

Verse 46: "It grieveth me that I should lose them. What more could I have done? I have stretched forth my hand all the day long."
Verse 50: "spare it a little longer, let us go and labor with all our might. 
THIS ONE LAST TIME."

...that was the second selling point to me. 
Something that hit me.
 to push on, a little while longer,
 labor a little harder, this one last time...

one last time meaning
Hey, we don't get another shot at this.
you have one mission. make it count.

As I kept reading and comparing and reading and comparing, EVERY time I read the word 'vineyard' it took me back to Elder Holland's talk in General Conference a couple years ago, about laborers in the vineyard.  One of my all time favorites.

keep up with me here. haha.

His entire talk is based around the Atonement.  How it can help us. How we access it. What we need to do NOW to access the Atonement. Utilizing the Atonement in our lives requires several things. 
1. having faith 
2. repentance (or change, as I before mentioned) 
3. making covenants 
4. enduring to the end.

But I want to focus on Key point #2.

repentance.
aka
CHANGE


because one of My greatest fears is that I wont / haven't changed.
THIS LIFE IS ABOUT CHANGE.
it's about improvement.
it's about growth, knowledge, opportunity, trial and error, mistake making, 
forgiveness & education.

It is a time for us to prepare to meet God.

If we can't change, what can we do?

If we are not willing to change what are we willing to do?

My biggest fear is no longer 'losing myself' or 'forgetting who I was before' or 'changing and becoming a different "Madison"'
RATHER
My biggest fear is that I won't change.
that my mission will be but a "neat experience" to ponder back on from time to time.'

ohhh
that gives me the chills.

No way!!

let this be an invitation
to everyone. to invite change into your lives. to seek out areas where you can improve and do so now. to become the kind of person God intended you to be.

Which brings me to my next point. 
In Elder Holland's latest and greatest message in the Spring 2014 General Conference talk: "The Costs and Blessings of Discipleship"

(sorry my mind is all over the place)

This week we had the opportunity to go to a Nat's game. On our way home my companion and I were watching these people on the metro. Mind you the metro was jam pack FULL of drunk people from the baseball game. As we were jumping out of the metro one of the drunk men turned and spit his tobacco chew all over Sister Rossi's skirt.

Ah.

It was awful.

The poor thing wanted to burst into tears.

And the first thing I thought of was Elder Holland's talk (above) in General Conference this year about the Sister missionaries. So I re-read it. And he says:

"Dear Child, you have in your own humble way stepped into a circle of very distinguished women and men who have, as the Book of Mormon Prophet Jacob (referencing back up to my Jacob vineyard connection) (sorry) SAID "viewed Christ's death and suffered his cross and born the shame of the world."

he goes onto say,

In keeping with the Saviors own experiecne there has been a long history of rejection and a painfully high price paid by Prophets and Apostles, Missionaries and Members in every generation...all those who have tried to honor Gods call to lift the human family to a "more excellent way."

MORE EXCELLENT WAY.

this more excellent way = change.

living the Gospel of Christ so fully and completely and honestly that we CAN change. 
that we understand the Atonement enough to realize we will never be perfect, that we should always be constantly striving to develop new attributes and characteristics of Jesus Christ our Savior.

That we can be okay with change.
And it will be hard.

change IS HARD
repentance is hard.
FAITH is hard.
knocking on doors and getting them slammed in your face, IS HARD
getting spit on with tobacco chew, is hard.
living 2280 miles away from family and home 
and everything you've ever known is hard.
life is hard.
following Christ, is hard.

Bearing the sins of the entire human race and family, was probably extremely hard.

but without it where are we?
who are we?
and what have we become?

my greatest fear is to come home unchanged.
and not JUST home from my 18 month mission to Utah
but home to My Father who put me here in this world, 
who EXPECTS ME to do hard things.

who EXPECTS me to come home, changed.

why did we come here except to grow and develop and learn and progress?

Let us labor this LAST TIME with all our might (Jacob 5)
Now is the time and day of your salvation... 
this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God (Alma 34)

Somebody explained to me this week that each individuals mission is 

designed to stretch them to THEIR own personal maximum.

I would go so far as to say that each individuals life is designed 

to stretch them to THEIR own personal maximum.

Maximum growth.
Maximum change.
God expects us to change.

Love you all.
sister madison paige stucki
(via email August 4, 2014)


P.S.

Not to kill the vibe but a couple quick notes.

One, my satchel broke this week. 

I know. it was rough. I don't want to buy a new one. 

Can you please send me my yellow satchel / backpack I bought before I left? 

can you also send me my dark brown combat boots, I sent my other ones home. thank you!

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLIE I LOVE YOUR FACE HOPE IT WAS THE BEST EVER 

<3 <3 <3 <3 I miss you. no more teen hype.

Thanks Makenna for the bracelet it is adorbs and I wear it everyday.  Perfect for summer. Actually it's funny because the other day I was like man I wish I had some of my cute summery boho bracelets and then BOOM you sent me one from Cali. 

with an ANCHOR - MY LOGO. holla. love you tons.

If you want you can send black mascara, no water proof too. I always need that ish.

AND recipes for green smoothies. I want to get healthy. thnx.

If you see any navy, khaki green, beige, corally pink, cream, pastel/mustard yellow, aqua blue, purple or light grey KNEE LENGTH solid color skirts (SOLID COLOR) send 'em my way. if not it's cool. but ya know, just keep your eye out if they come about. I prefer knee length, not shorter or longer. they are a pain.

Also for the FUN FACTS...

this week was Absolutely insane and so dramatic which is why I'm not going into journal detail about my week.

However please know:
-Sister Rossi passed out and threw up on our Recent Converts porch
-Also Sister Rossi got spit on by some tobacco guy
-An investigator said he wanted to "wife me"
-Went to a Nats game, didn't get home until 2 am (whaattt?)
-Another investigator confessed his love for me and wants to quit the lessons.
-my satchel fell apart


yikes.


it's been fun.
and it's been real.

and i'm gonna go take a wonderful prep day party break now.
'cause we need it.
ask the members.
#stresscaseontheloose

love you all so much!
sister stucki

Madi :)