I am currently sitting here at a computer I don't own, with a phone that isn't activated, a camera that is shattered to pieces, signing away my brand new Mazda 3 Sport, pondering over how frustrating this past month has been, and also how blessed I really am. It is funny how the Lord works really. Can I tell you about my past couple months?
It all started when I put my mission papers in. I was so excited and thrilled and READY to be a missionary. One week later, my best friend in the world left.
The next week brought on a whole new load of emotions.
Family "Issues" began to occur.
"Problems" began to take place.
I won't go into every nit picky detail, for privacy sake!
But all in all...
Change began to set in.
Things were NOT going MY way.
And who was I to turn to?
Why was this all happening NOW.
(funny) Because I really thought that I was left here alone to deal with all these new occurrences all on my own. In fact, I had never felt THIS ALONE in my ENTIRE LIFE. And the adversary was really working on me, placing new doubts, questions and concerns in my head every minute of everyday.
There hasn't been one single day since I opened my mission call, that my faith has not been tested and tried
by instances.. or even people!
Now, I'm not telling you all this to cause a pity party for myself, but in hopes that maybe someone out there has felt the same thing. Or is dealing with similar problems right now in their life. Can I just say, it gets better?
For a minute there, I was MAD.
Here I was trying to do the right thing, become a better person, and SERVE.
I thought I had given up everything, why was I so alone?
Well, it gets (funnier) because little did I understand, I hadn't given up 'everything' NOT YET.
The same couple weeks that we had PLENTY of 'issues' take place... my...
Camera was Shattered
iPhone got lost in the mail
Laptop (with all my documents/pictures/information) CRASHED
Car was bought!
So the past two weeks I've been stranded without my everyday items that i spend SO much time using. And it took me quite some time to figure it all out.
I wasn't ever alone. I was distracted.
I see now why it is so important to forget yourself, to serve, especially in the mission field. Finally once all my 'everyday distractions' were...uhh... 'out of use' I had pleeennttyyy more time to focus on things of more importance.
Of course, the 'issues' that were currently going on and other such problems and emotions didn't just CEASE to happen, but I had found a new way to deal with them. Not having my best friend around to talk to, not having worldly 'distractions' to take my mind off of everything, I have HAD to rely on my gospel knowledge, my testimony and my relationship with my loving Heavenly Father to get me through HARD times. No more asking "why me?" it was now onto the question "what do i need to do to get through?"
I think someone was trying EXTRA hard, to prove a point to me.
As I was grumbling away at how 'unlucky' I was... I found this article...from Elder Holland
(of course)
"In Times of Trouble."
(link) http://www.lds.org/liahona/1982/01/for-times-of-trouble
What caught my attention first, was the VERY FIRST PARAGRAPH of this article. He says:
I wish to discuss a problem that is universal and that can, at any
time, occur anywhere. I believe it is a form of evil. At
least I know it can have damaging effects that block our growth,
discourage us, diminish our hope, and leave us vulnerable to other
more conspicuous evils. I wish to discuss it because I know of
nothing Satan uses so cunningly or cleverly in his work. I refer to
doubt—especially self-doubt or discouragement, and of despair.
he continues...
We all have troubles, but the “germ” of discouragement,is not in
the trouble, it is in us—or to be more precise, I believe it is in
Satan, the prince of darkness, the father of lies. And he wants us to
have it in us. It’s frequently a small germ, but it will work and it
will grow and it will spread. In fact it can become almost a habit, a
way of living and thinking, and there the greatest damage is done.
It erodes the deepest religious commitments we can make—those
of faith, and hope, and charity. We become unhappy and soon
make others unhappy, and before long Lucifer is happy.
WOOOOOOOW
Was this message for ME.
I think, no sorry let me rephrase...
I KNOW
Satan will try to distort EVERY, GOOD, THING.
I know at such a time, in my family, at this age and with all that is happening, the advesary will do EVERYTHING in his power to stop any form of 'Righteous Living.'
He KNOWS
I have a testimony of the gospel.
He KNOWS
I am preparing to SERVE a mission for the Lord.
He KNOWS
There are people waiting to hear MY message.
HE KNOWS.
And he will do everything in his power to stop it.
He knows i'm not going to jump onto some mad party boat and break all ten commandments, the W.O.W and law of chastity in the next forty two days causing my missionary assignment to be put to rest! That is simply unrealistic for me! So why not start with personal discouragement?
am-i-right or am-i-RIGHT?
He then says, (and this is my favorite part)
"If you are trying hard and living right and things still seem burdensome, have courage. Others have experienced these things before you.
Do you feel unpopular and different? Read about Noah again and see what popularity was like in 2,500 B.C.
Does the wilderness stretch before you in a never ending sequence of apparent burdens? Read Moses again. Calculate the burden of fighting with the Pharoahs and then a 40-year assignment in Sinai. (18 months will do thx.)
Are you afraid people don't like you? Prophet Joseph Smith could share a few thoughts with you on that subject.
Have a health problem? Can you take courage from your shared sacrifice with that giant of a man who has defied disease and death, has defied forces of darkness and cried when there was hardly strength to walk, "Oh, Lord, I am yet strong. Give me one more mountain." (see josh. 14:11)
Do you ever feel untalented or incapable or inferior? Would it help you to know that everyone else feels this way too, including prophets of God? (ex. Moses)..."
Elder Holland always gets ya.
As soon as i realized this, i realized all the blessings that can come from any trial of your faith, as long as you persevere. I know I have a work to do, i'm only nineteen, things aren't just going to 'get easy' NO WAY. Thats not what i'm here for. But fortunately i have been blessed.
For one, my phone was found and they ended up not charging me a warranty fee (thank goodness??)
My camera was shattered but come to find out there is a warranty that covers all damage or new camera.
My laptop...well the documents/information was thankfully able to be transferred onto an external harddrive and i hadn't lost anything.
My car, was sold for asking price before i left so i wont have any debts, fees or loans to carry over with me in the mission field.
In other words, i have waaaay less worries and less distractions to be concerned about that when all this started. Which is resulting in all my time and efforts being dedicated to the work in the mission field, which means a lot to me.
And on top of that, i have learned so much from every trial or negative experience in the past few months. I am so blessed to have the knowledge i do of the true and everlasting gospel. How blessed am I?
In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike-and they will- you must remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see, riding at reckless speed to come to our protection, and they will always be there, these armies of heaven."
In short, count your many, many blessings.
Thanks for reading, xoxo
Showing posts with label talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talk. Show all posts
10.23.2013
9.10.2013
Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence
"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."
I find it particularly interesting, the way Elder Holland explains through this article, our relationship with God, but also the adversary. I know that God knows me. He knows my strengths, he knows my weaknesses. He knows the intents of my heart. He knows my doubts and my fears. And frankly, the adversary knows as well.
This is frustrating, and at times completely.. UNFAIR. That God can provide me (or you) with this profound spiritual experience, where you just KNOW, you know who you are, what you want, where you're going. You feel absolutely sure, and so at peace with your life and your decisions. But nearly EVERYTIME, not long after these experiences, you walk right back into the everyday 'routine' of your life and the adversary begins to take his toll. He taunts you, places doubts in the back of your mind. You begin to feel like your at battle with your own self. Should I do this? Should I not? Is this really what I want? Your confidence wavers. And why? It felt so right before-
"There is a lesson in the Prophet Joseph Smith’s account of the First Vision which virtually every Latter-day Saint has had occasion to experience, or one day soon will. It is the plain and very sobering truth that before great moments, certainly before great spiritual moments, there can come adversity, opposition, and darkness. Life has some of those moments for us, and occasionally they come just as we are approaching an important decision or a significant step in our lives.
In that marvelous account which we read too seldom, Joseph said he had scarcely begun his prayer when he felt a power of astonishing influence come over him. “Thick darkness,” as he described it, gathered around him and seemed bent on his utter destruction. But he exerted all his powers to call upon God to deliver him out of the power of this enemy, and as he did so a pillar of light brighter than the noonday sun descended gradually until it rested upon him. At the very moment of the light’s appearance, he found himself delivered from the destructive power which had held him bound. What then followed is the greatest epiphany since the events surrounding the Crucifixion, Resurrection, and Ascension of Christ in the meridian of time. The Father and the Son appeared to Joseph Smith, and the dispensation of the fullness of times had begun." (Holland)
I remember a few years back, I had the opportunity to listen to my bishop, who I am fortunate enough to call my dad, teach a discussion on this very thing. He began by talking about our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.. How they know us and love us. Then continuing to teach something that had never before occurred to me, he said "I believe it is just as important to realize the influence of the adversary, who wants to discourage us, and whose soul purpose is to make us miserable like unto himself." I think that was the first time I had ever really realized that, or put two and two together. That all thoughts of discouragement, fear, doubt and inadequacy came from him, the one figure who wants us all to be as miserable as he is.
Yeah I’ll be the first to admit, that freaks me the heck out. So there I said it.
And I’ll admit I was stunned when this all occurred to me like.. WHAT? But why? Why would a loving Heavenly Father LET this happen? If he has all power and control, if he can move mountains… why would he leave us here to be brought down and diminished by the adversary who is in opposition to everything good? And while we’re on the subject, why is there war? Why is there famine? Why do the innocent die young? Why are people unhappy? Why is there divorce? Why is there murder? Why is there pride and theft? Why is there people taking their own life’s because they believe this world is not meant for them? Why do we feel alone? There are a lot of whys, and a lot of people who believe these questions are unanswered, or simply do not believe there is a loving and caring God.
And that’s where we can apply everything, literally everything that the gospel teaches.
Agency
The Atonement
The Plan of Happiness
Baptism
Eternal Families, Eternal Marriage
Temple Work
Covenants & Standards
Scriptures & Revelation
Our loving Heavenly Father, our God, sent us to this earth, as we AGREED before we came to be tested and to be tried. To learn and to grow, but only with the use of our AGENCY could this ever be accomplished. He set up a plan, of salvation a plan of happiness for US to return to him through the use of the Atonement, when Christ was sent to suffer for the sins of the world. We can follow his example through repentance and baptism, and by enduring to the end. By keeping and following all covenants and standards to the best of our abilities and being sealed through temple work, so we can live with our families and spouses because of the promises given to us, when we return home to that heavenly father who created us.
So there, is the gospel in a nut shell, it is a lot to take in. And that all hit me at once. But what touched me the most was the simple fact that we can all hold onto, that we are not alone. We are never alone.
“God will provide the means and power to achieve his purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, He will provide the way for you to accomplish it. That is true of joining the Church or raising a family, of going on a mission, or any one of a hundred other worthy tasks in life. God’s grace is sufficient! The Lord would tell Joseph again and again that just as in days of old the children of Israel would be “led out of bondage by power, and with a stretched-out arm. … Therefore, let not your hearts faint. … Mine angels shall go up before you, and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land.”
What goodly land? Well, your goodly land. Your promised land. Your new Jerusalem. Your own little acre flowing with milk and honey. Your future. Your dreams. Your destiny. I believe that in our own individual ways, God takes us to the grove or the mountain or the temple and there shows us the wonder of what His plan is for us. We may not see it as fully as Moses or Nephi or the brother of Jared did, but we see as much as we need to see in order to know the Lord’s will for us and to know that He loves us beyond mortal comprehension. I also believe that the adversary and his pinched, calculating little minions try to oppose such experiences and then try to darken them after they happen. But that is not the way of the gospel. That is not the way of a Latter-day Saint who claims as the fundamental fact of the Restoration the spirit of revelation. Fighting through darkness and despair and pleading for the light is what opened this dispensation. It is what keeps it going, and it is what will keep you going. With Paul, I say to all of you:
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
“Fear ye not.” And when the second and third and fourth blows come, “fear ye not. … The Lord shall fight for you.” 16 Cast not away therefore your confidence.” (Holland)
(full article in link)
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence?lang=eng
Before I end this post, I just want to share my complete agreement with Elder Holland, and all of his insight shared in this article/talk. I know, now more than ever, and without a doubt that The Church of Jesus Christ is absolutely true. We are human, we have our faults and we are most definitely NOT perfect. But the gospel is perfect, and through it we may become perfect, and it is completely our choice. I am so grateful and blessed for the people in my life. The examples i have. From my parents, church leaders and friends. To the example of before prophets and leaders such as Joseph Smith. I know he restored the gospel to this earth, and i know that like him i can overcome anything that is thrown my way! And what a miracle that is in itself! I love the simplicity of the church and its teachings. It brings so much peace to my heart. I cannot wait to share it with anyone and everyone who is willing to listen and take in the happiness the gospel brings. I hope and pray that the Lord is preparing the hearts of the people that i will meet, and whether it be by fate or coincidence or an accidental occurrence, i hope the lord brings people out of their way to find missionaries who can help them along there way with the power of the spirit, and that they will find everything they are searching for.
"He whose name this church bears has promised that He will be in our midst, lead us along, go before us, and even fight our battles. He has further counseled, 'be not afraid of your enemies, for i have decreed in my heart... that i will prove hou in all things, whether you will abide in my covenant, even unto death, that you may be found worthy." (d&c 98:14) -Elder Neal A. Maxwell
The church is true. Love you all. I can't wait to be a full time missionary, I know, anything is possible with the lord on my side.
I find it particularly interesting, the way Elder Holland explains through this article, our relationship with God, but also the adversary. I know that God knows me. He knows my strengths, he knows my weaknesses. He knows the intents of my heart. He knows my doubts and my fears. And frankly, the adversary knows as well.
This is frustrating, and at times completely.. UNFAIR. That God can provide me (or you) with this profound spiritual experience, where you just KNOW, you know who you are, what you want, where you're going. You feel absolutely sure, and so at peace with your life and your decisions. But nearly EVERYTIME, not long after these experiences, you walk right back into the everyday 'routine' of your life and the adversary begins to take his toll. He taunts you, places doubts in the back of your mind. You begin to feel like your at battle with your own self. Should I do this? Should I not? Is this really what I want? Your confidence wavers. And why? It felt so right before-
"There is a lesson in the Prophet Joseph Smith’s account of the First Vision which virtually every Latter-day Saint has had occasion to experience, or one day soon will. It is the plain and very sobering truth that before great moments, certainly before great spiritual moments, there can come adversity, opposition, and darkness. Life has some of those moments for us, and occasionally they come just as we are approaching an important decision or a significant step in our lives.
In that marvelous account which we read too seldom, Joseph said he had scarcely begun his prayer when he felt a power of astonishing influence come over him. “Thick darkness,” as he described it, gathered around him and seemed bent on his utter destruction. But he exerted all his powers to call upon God to deliver him out of the power of this enemy, and as he did so a pillar of light brighter than the noonday sun descended gradually until it rested upon him. At the very moment of the light’s appearance, he found himself delivered from the destructive power which had held him bound. What then followed is the greatest epiphany since the events surrounding the Crucifixion, Resurrection, and Ascension of Christ in the meridian of time. The Father and the Son appeared to Joseph Smith, and the dispensation of the fullness of times had begun." (Holland)
I remember a few years back, I had the opportunity to listen to my bishop, who I am fortunate enough to call my dad, teach a discussion on this very thing. He began by talking about our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.. How they know us and love us. Then continuing to teach something that had never before occurred to me, he said "I believe it is just as important to realize the influence of the adversary, who wants to discourage us, and whose soul purpose is to make us miserable like unto himself." I think that was the first time I had ever really realized that, or put two and two together. That all thoughts of discouragement, fear, doubt and inadequacy came from him, the one figure who wants us all to be as miserable as he is.
Yeah I’ll be the first to admit, that freaks me the heck out. So there I said it.
And I’ll admit I was stunned when this all occurred to me like.. WHAT? But why? Why would a loving Heavenly Father LET this happen? If he has all power and control, if he can move mountains… why would he leave us here to be brought down and diminished by the adversary who is in opposition to everything good? And while we’re on the subject, why is there war? Why is there famine? Why do the innocent die young? Why are people unhappy? Why is there divorce? Why is there murder? Why is there pride and theft? Why is there people taking their own life’s because they believe this world is not meant for them? Why do we feel alone? There are a lot of whys, and a lot of people who believe these questions are unanswered, or simply do not believe there is a loving and caring God.
And that’s where we can apply everything, literally everything that the gospel teaches.
Agency
The Atonement
The Plan of Happiness
Baptism
Eternal Families, Eternal Marriage
Temple Work
Covenants & Standards
Scriptures & Revelation
Our loving Heavenly Father, our God, sent us to this earth, as we AGREED before we came to be tested and to be tried. To learn and to grow, but only with the use of our AGENCY could this ever be accomplished. He set up a plan, of salvation a plan of happiness for US to return to him through the use of the Atonement, when Christ was sent to suffer for the sins of the world. We can follow his example through repentance and baptism, and by enduring to the end. By keeping and following all covenants and standards to the best of our abilities and being sealed through temple work, so we can live with our families and spouses because of the promises given to us, when we return home to that heavenly father who created us.
So there, is the gospel in a nut shell, it is a lot to take in. And that all hit me at once. But what touched me the most was the simple fact that we can all hold onto, that we are not alone. We are never alone.
“God will provide the means and power to achieve his purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, He will provide the way for you to accomplish it. That is true of joining the Church or raising a family, of going on a mission, or any one of a hundred other worthy tasks in life. God’s grace is sufficient! The Lord would tell Joseph again and again that just as in days of old the children of Israel would be “led out of bondage by power, and with a stretched-out arm. … Therefore, let not your hearts faint. … Mine angels shall go up before you, and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land.”
What goodly land? Well, your goodly land. Your promised land. Your new Jerusalem. Your own little acre flowing with milk and honey. Your future. Your dreams. Your destiny. I believe that in our own individual ways, God takes us to the grove or the mountain or the temple and there shows us the wonder of what His plan is for us. We may not see it as fully as Moses or Nephi or the brother of Jared did, but we see as much as we need to see in order to know the Lord’s will for us and to know that He loves us beyond mortal comprehension. I also believe that the adversary and his pinched, calculating little minions try to oppose such experiences and then try to darken them after they happen. But that is not the way of the gospel. That is not the way of a Latter-day Saint who claims as the fundamental fact of the Restoration the spirit of revelation. Fighting through darkness and despair and pleading for the light is what opened this dispensation. It is what keeps it going, and it is what will keep you going. With Paul, I say to all of you:
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
“Fear ye not.” And when the second and third and fourth blows come, “fear ye not. … The Lord shall fight for you.” 16 Cast not away therefore your confidence.” (Holland)
(full article in link)
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence?lang=eng
Before I end this post, I just want to share my complete agreement with Elder Holland, and all of his insight shared in this article/talk. I know, now more than ever, and without a doubt that The Church of Jesus Christ is absolutely true. We are human, we have our faults and we are most definitely NOT perfect. But the gospel is perfect, and through it we may become perfect, and it is completely our choice. I am so grateful and blessed for the people in my life. The examples i have. From my parents, church leaders and friends. To the example of before prophets and leaders such as Joseph Smith. I know he restored the gospel to this earth, and i know that like him i can overcome anything that is thrown my way! And what a miracle that is in itself! I love the simplicity of the church and its teachings. It brings so much peace to my heart. I cannot wait to share it with anyone and everyone who is willing to listen and take in the happiness the gospel brings. I hope and pray that the Lord is preparing the hearts of the people that i will meet, and whether it be by fate or coincidence or an accidental occurrence, i hope the lord brings people out of their way to find missionaries who can help them along there way with the power of the spirit, and that they will find everything they are searching for.
"He whose name this church bears has promised that He will be in our midst, lead us along, go before us, and even fight our battles. He has further counseled, 'be not afraid of your enemies, for i have decreed in my heart... that i will prove hou in all things, whether you will abide in my covenant, even unto death, that you may be found worthy." (d&c 98:14) -Elder Neal A. Maxwell
The church is true. Love you all. I can't wait to be a full time missionary, I know, anything is possible with the lord on my side.